Parent Effectiveness Training (P.E.T. or ‘Gordon method’) was developed by Dr Thomas Gordon (1918-2002) in the United States in the 1960s. Dr Gordon was a licensed clinical psychologist and founded his organisation, Gordon Training International, in 1962. He taught his first P.E.T. course in that same year.

Prior to this, in 1957, he worked with Leadership Effectiveness Training (L.E.T.). Dr Gordon decided to apply the same set of specific communication skills to parenting because he realised that, like organisations, problems arose in some families because communication had broken down. ‘Troublesome’ teenagers did love their parents and serious damage to a parent-child relationship could be undone.

Although the underlying drive for P.E.T. was to help teenagers and their parents, the skills taught are applicable to parenting children of all ages. In fact, course participants find that all their relationships are enhanced through their use of P.E.T. skills in other settings.

The P.E.T. framework is an invaluable tool in today’s society where children and parents experience increased emotional demands, peer pressure, bullying and isolation. The skills taught help participants learn how to actively listen to others; as well as addressing unacceptable behaviour with honest and responsible messages, to initiate change. P.E.T. has a unique method of conflict resolution, which creates win-win outcomes without leaving anyone feeling resentful or low in self-esteem. It is a respectful and empowering approach to starting new relationships and for deepening existing ones.

P.E.T. is now being taught in 50 countries across the world and has influenced many parenting programs since the 1960s. Dr Gordon and his organisation have also introduced Gordon workshops for adults (Be Your Best), youth (Y.E.T and Resolving Conflicts at School) and teachers (T.E.T.).

Such was Dr Gordon’s ongoing contribution to the improvement of human relationships, that he was nominated three times for the Nobel Peace Prize.








My name is Muur Roberts and I have been living in England for 20 years.

My husband is English and I am Dutch; and we raise our two daughters bilingually and bi-culturally.

Time spent with my family is precious to me and I want to make sure that my daughters are well-rounded adults when they grow up; for that I need to keep my communication clear and open. I experienced first-hand what a breakdown/ lack in communication can lead to, when my parents divorced in my early teens. This taught me to avoid conflict, which meant I wasn't very assertive in getting my needs met. I could see that I was in danger of becoming a submissive parent.

I first came into contact with P.E.T. through Dr Gordon’s book ‘Parent Effectiveness Training; the proven program for raising responsible children’, which was given to me when my daughters were 2 and 7. I read the book and felt I had a real gem in my hands.

The skills described were so straight forward and versatile that I decided to do a course. PET gave me a voice: I feel empowered to state my needs and confront unacceptable behaviour. It makes me both clearer and closer in my relationships with my daughters. Since my husband took the course we share this method of communicating, which has increased harmony in our household. Our daughters in turn have learnt how to voice their needs and emotions clearly and are confident in solving conflicts together, with us. Our daughters are well-liked and communicative, open about what goes on for them in their lives. We are yet to start the teenage years, but I feel confident that PET will help us all to deal with this when it comes.

I became the first PET Instructor in East Anglia and have been teaching P.E.T. since 2012 in small groups and 1:1 tuition . I am also trained to teach Teacher Effectiveness Training (T.E.T.) for those wishing to have a more effective way to manage the teacher-student relationship. Both skill sets were essential in my work with teenagers for eight years at a large Secondary School, where I supported 11-16 year old students with special educational needs and those for whom English was not their mother tongue.

I am currently self employed teaching P.E.T., English language and training to become a ‘Be Your Best’ instructor.

Whether you are a parent looking to learn these skills as part of a Practical Parenting Skills Group or 1:1/couple tuition; or if you are a teacher looking for Teacher Effectiveness Training, I look forward to working with you.
Call Muur Roberts - 01603 510858 / 07950 362357 - email: info@parentskills.co.uk